Whether you’re a stickler for wedding traditions or you consider yourself a modern couple, remember: Your wedding day is supposed to be about you and your partner, and every decision you make should reflect that. So, if you don’t want to walk down the aisle wearing a white dress or want to steal a first look with your partner before the ceremony — do it!

Here, we rounded up a few standard wedding rules that are totally OK to break.

Black and White Wedding Cake

Wearing a white wedding gown 

Sure, your grandma may raise an eyebrow if you decide to rock a pink gown, but it’s your dress and you should wear what you want to. By the time the actual wedding rolls around, no one (Grams included!) will really care that you aren’t adorned in white. On the other hand, if this is your second or even third marriage and you still want to wear a white dress, by all means, go for it.

Appointing a single flower girl and ring bearer

Many couples are opting to nix the roles of the flower girl and ring bearer altogether. If you don’t know any kids, this decision makes sense (you can let your dog fill in instead!). If you have several nieces and nephews, however, you shouldn’t feel pressured to pick just one boy and one girl to be a part of your wedding. Include them all, and give each child a special role.

Choosing matching bridesmaids dresses

Unlike the miraculous jeans in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, the same gown isn’t going to look amazing on everyone. So let your bridesmaids pick out a dress that makes them feel confident. You can always designate a color or fabric for everyone to stick to if you’d still like to keep the look uniform.

Seeing your partner before you say, “I do”

We promise your marriage isn’t doomed forever if you do decide to meet up with your partner before the wedding. In fact, your photographer will most likely encourage this! Snapping pics prior to the ceremony will not only free up more time for you to spend with family and friends, but your hair and makeup will be freshly done as well.

Having a tiered wedding cake

You can have your traditional wedding cake and eat it too. Or you can do something totally out of the box and serve up a different dessert altogether. Think: cupcake or French macaron tower, chocolate fondue fountain, or a whole buffet full of sweet treat options. No matter what you serve, you can never really go wrong with sweets.

Throwing your bouquet and garter

This can be a fun and silly tradition for all your unattached pals to take part in. If only a few of your friends are single though, there’s no need to go out of your way to draw attention to their lack of a significant other. Instead, play a wedding trivia game where everyone can get involved. The guy and girl who answer the most questions correct regarding your relationship take home the “prize” of the bouquet and garter.

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