Your bride picked you for a reason. Now it’s up to you to get her down the aisle in one happy, relaxed, glowy package. Read on for eight no-fail tactics for mastering this whole maid of honor thing.
- Offer to do it. Offer to do it. Offer. To. Do. It.
Whatever “it” is—from figuring out what flowers are in season on her ceremony date to finding an Etsy woodworker who’ll make a custom topper for the groom’s cake. The moment she mentions something, consider it a detail that will be keeping her up at night, and offer to take it off her hands.
- Don’t ask for reminders.
The point of offering to help is to just help. Follow your girl’s lead when it comes to staying organised. Make sure your tasks don’t become one more thing she has to keep track of.
- Listen to the bride when it comes to bachelorette party parameters.
When she says no strippers, illicit activities, or anything that resembles a scene from “The Hangover 2”? She probably means it.
- It’s fine to delegate.
You can definitely pass some shower-planning duties to her godmother, stepmother, or a favorite aunt. And you don’t have to throw down your card for every expense or incidental charge —she’s friends with you for you, not your bank account or ability to split yourself in two running around to tackle wedding to-dos and expenses. And it’s OK if you can’t make every hair and makeup trial. (No, really. It’s OK!)
- Remember: you’re the H.B.I.C. (“Head Bridesmaid in Charge”) for a reason.
The bride didn’t want to invite her high-maintenance cousin to the morning-of nail salon appointment? Let her blame your scatterbrain when the cousin asks. An overbearing relative pestering for details every step of the way? Smile. Nod. Play dumb. It’s the smartest way to keep your BFF from losing her cool too.
- Say nice things about the person she’s going to marry.
The countdown to wedding day is full of emotional ups and downs. Some days, she’s in engagement heaven (and will want someone to cheer her on) and others she’ll be…er, not so much. Those are the times when reminding her that she’s making a great pick will count the most. She’ll thank you. Her sweetheart will thank you. They’ll both be reminded of why you were the right woman for the job.
- …or don’t say anything at all.
This one’s going to raise a few eyebrows, but if you absolutely abhor the person she’s walking down the aisle with and you’ve made your concerns known to her in the past, then it’s time to let it go. And keep in mind that pre-wedding time is filled with shifting loyalties, emotionally-charged bonds, and bathroom stalls just ripe for overhearing not-so-welcome asides and vent sessions. So choose your words (and silence) wisely.
- Remember to have some “you” moments too.
Budget time and/or cash to pamper yourself pre-wedding. On the big day, don’t neglect your date and your friends who may be in attendance. Your BFF needs to be able to count on you in a pinch, but ultimately, your joy should be her joy too.
Now get out there and have fun like it’s your job. (Because from where we sit? It is.)