What do you get when you combine an overwhelmed bride, a bunch of her besties (hello, big personalities…), and the stress of wedding planning? The potential for conflict….To avoid a bummer backlash, be wary of the eight most common bridesmaids fights.
Here are 8 common Bridesmaids flights and How to Avoid Them
1. Dress Dilemmas.
Of course, everyone wants to look their best on the big day, but that likely means something different to all involved. If your crew isn’t feeling the color you chose, consider whether you’re willing to let your girls pick from a curated color palette instead. If someone feels like the fit of the dress just doesn’t flatter, try mixing up the hem or necklines to suit each bridesmaid. And if you’ve got your heart set on your original vision with very little wiggle room, simply take the time to explain to your posse how important that vision is to you and how much you appreciate their support.
2. Hair and Makeup.
Much like the dress, your ‘maids may not love your hair and makeup vision as much as you do. Again, compromise is key, if you’re willing to offer up a few more options. If you’re not so willing to budge on the beauty routine, communicate that kindly and clearly to your crew, and show your appreciation for their efforts.
Got a friend who takes weeks to respond to time-sensitive emails or is always late to fittings and appointments? It’s best to talk it out early. Explain that you understand what a big commitment being a bridesmaid is, and that you asked her to take part because of how important she is to you. An open, honest conversation should be all it takes to get things back on track.
Between dresses, bachelorette parties, transportation, and gifts, wedding spending can quickly add up. If one of your gals is feeling the pinch more than others, be sure to open the lines of communication. Explain that it’s more important to have her presence than a present, and allow her to take part in the activities in the way that works best for her. Friends are more important than money, and losing one over cash flow is never worth it.
5. Plus Ones.
While even experts disagree on “plus one” etiquette, most will tell you that offering your bridesmaids the option to bring a date is always a nice gesture. Of course, husbands and wives should always receive an invitation, but consider asking your single girls if they’d like to invite a date along as well.
Wedding season can be emotionally trying for some gals. Whether one of your ‘maids is going through a tough breakup or eagerly waiting for her partner to pop the question, try not to take her not-always-cheerful attitude personally. But, if things escalate to dramatic displays or excessive waterworks, have a heart to heart and offer your ‘maid the option to opt out. This may not be the right role for her right now…
7. Cat Fights.
Groups of friends who’ve known each other for many years usually have a whole lot of history that comes with them. Between passive-aggressive remarks, rivalries, and rocky relationships, a host of problems can arise. As the bride, choose to bow out as much as possible, giving the girls time to work it out on their own time.
8. Manual Labor.
Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of responsibilities. Between addressing envelopes, DIYs, going to dress fittings, and planning events, it’s not uncommon for ‘maids to feel overwhelmed. If possible, try to limit the amount of work you dole out. Your crew should feel honored, but never taken advantage of. When the tasks become too numerous, ask a trusted friend or family member to assist and give your girls a break.